You may hate me for the contents of this blog.
I may hate me.
I don't want to say that cheating on your partner makes sense, or it's a good idea... but I will.
First off, I'll say I'm not the kind of guy who would. I haven't. I can't get around the hurt and hurting aspect.
However, I was watching a TV show just now, and was inspired to press pause and write.
A smart character was dating a less smart character, trading off compatability for beauty, as many sitcom plots echo. He chats with his friends about breaking up with her, because - lets face it, she's not long term material. I forget whether the character outright says; "The sex is great, but"; but I certainly remember that line being used over and over in other shows and stories.
I felt a bit of the upcoming sorrow that would exist, if not in the nexr 17 minutes, but in the fictional character's life. He'd be partnerless while he searched for the real match. A position I find myself in now. The limbo between partners is not as nice a place to reside, as beside your mate. I certainly miss it on many levels.
Our character is deciding being alone is worth the period of being single and searching again, vs staying with Bambi, and being part of a couple, even if it's only great sex for now.
I've been there too. Currently on the list as the hardest decison I ever had to make. The official switching off from couple, to single... however it happens for you.
There are probably seven stages of this kind of grief or transition, different for everyone and every situation. The guy on TV is a handsom doctor - pediatrition if I';m not mistaken. His single time will probably end next Wednesday at 8:12pm, earlier on the West Coast.
It occured to me... if society were to accept cheating, he'd be able to shop for a better match, while staying in a happy relastionship. I always hated the "cow at home" analogy, and refuse to use it here.
Cheating has become a line in the sand for many women. TV teaches us constantly the different ways we can - or should react. For many, the idea of cheating is a deal breaker. Trust nroken, can never be repaired. As noted above, every case is different, but for some, it's absolute. At first hint, the locks are changed.
The truth is, cheaters often make happier couples. Better partners. People break up and divorse often because they grow apart - or mature differently. The wants of the partners become less a priority, and they don't enjoy the same things.
Frequently, they have not fallen out of love, but they don't enjoy doing things together as much as they used to. EVen couples that don't separate often live less happy lives together for simpolicity. They don't see a better life, or dread the single life. They stay together because they can. Nobody ever used to divorse.
If cheating were more acceptable, or even a part of our culture, couples would change. Search for a life partner youi're compatible with, and share a life of happiness, but get the sex or somethuing else on the side. Like three wives, if you use Playboy TV as a guide.
A wife on the side.
The problem for me with cheating, ws when In shifted from being #1 to #2. When I was the second priority, dissapointed or abandonned in favor of somebody else. I just lost some respect, and I became single, started over, looking for a better match.
A wife on the side might have been the answer. A zeppelin wife to distract me, and keep me reacting to new things and new events, and a comfortable mate at home, cooking and conversaing and enjoying the things we did together.
Likewise, she could have her second husband. Maybe he'd buy the jewerly.
We'll see how the sitcom turns out. TV teaches me if it's OK to cheat, depdning if I watch prime time, daytime, or overnight schedules. Whether I watch half hour sitcoms or one hour dramas, crime or comedy.
Life is all out there. My viewing habits are my moralities and my church.
The teachings of John Ritter were different from his son's
End of Part 1.
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